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'Recent Movers' List

These are the up-and-coming sayings, the ones that have been voted for most recently. This can show you which sayings are growing in popularity. Entries are sorted by date it was last voted for and then the number of votes.

 Date  Tally Sayings
10/05/0015To talk to God on the big white telephone.
to throw up (vomit)
445 Give birth to a politician.
To have a shit.
490 About as useful as tits on a bull.
useless
288 May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down.
~
9/05/0070 Shut your cake hole.
~
46 Did you get a peking duck?
Did you get a f**k
28 All these butternut snaps.
rhyming slang = a jap
113 Couldn't organise a fart in a chillie eating contest.
not good at organisation
21 Shite and tolley balls.
shit and shit
164 You have an IQ of 2 , and it takes 3 to grunt!
~
42 Berkshire hunt.
cunt
144 Seen better legs on a table.
Cellulite city. Fat legs.
93 You usless kiwi import.
~
89 He couldn't drive a nail into a bucket of water.
to a hopeless driver
233 I'm going to give birth to your twin!
Have a shit
250 Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.
can't organise anything
444 A few wanks short of an orgasm.
not all there
198 Ya bloody wombat.
Insult
297 Too slow to keep worms in a tin.
~
305 Gonna drain me dragon.
urinate
821 May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.
insult
450 He's floggin the log/dog again!
Havin' a wank. (Masturbating)
522 Off like a bride's nightie.
Very quickly.
8/05/0015 Sharp as a beachball.
Not very bright/quick.
8 Make like a guillotine and head off.
Got to get going
13 Fair dinkum.
1) It's the truth. 2) Exclamation! 3) Is it the truth?
He's not the full quid.
Stupid
8 Gunna char some mystery bags.
cook some sausages on the barbecue
27 Wouldn't have that trouble if it had fur around it.
used when another is having trouble trying to insert one object inside another - eg trying to screw a bolt into an awkward spot in a motor.
12 Raining cats and dogs.
Rain so heavy that everthing is coming down.
14 So cold it'll freeze the balls on a brass monkey.
coooold (brass monkey being the three balls that hang outside a pawn shop )
23 If brains were dynamite, he could blow the dust from his ears.
thick as a brick
299 May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
You're basically scum
92 I need that like a submarine needs a screen door.
~
107 Ya bloody galah!
You slow witted one.
130 Don't get your knickers in a knot.
Don't get agitated.
93 Stone the (flaming) crows!
~
147 I'll go and have a Captain Cook.
go for a look
97 You got the rough end of the pineapple.
~
95 What a load of codswollip.
~
363 A good root and a fart would kill him.
He's weak.
572 Scarce as rocking horse shit.
Very rare
7/05/0023 It's so cold, me headlights are on high beam.
Also known as Nippelus Erectus
28 Mate, I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick!
a rather undesirable woman
18 Wanna go halves in a rape charge?
What do you think of that Woman?
68 I wish his dad had settled for a blow job.
Obvious insult.
110 So unlucky that if it were raining virgins he would be struck in the head by a poof.
Really unlucky.
48 Geez your brothers ugly! / Jesus Christ your sister is ugly!
Said to a twin as an insult.
159 May the all pores of your skin turn into little assholes and cover you in shit!
Insult
178 He must have 2 penises...he couldn't be that stupid from pulling one.
Stupid
6/05/00361 Drier than a nuns nasty.
~
463 Got you by the short and curlies.
Got you on a short leash.... pubic hairs!
433 Busier than a one armed Sydney cab driver with the crabs.
~
477 Happy as a bastard on Father's Day.
~
4/05/006 Bumping ya gums.
Talking too much
476 You must be the world's only living brain donor.
dumb or stupid to the extreme
3/05/003 Thats about as useful as a G rated pron flick!
it's useless
14 Slicker than whale shit on an iceberg.
pretty slick
63 Arh, stick your head up your Kyber Pass.
Arse
56 How are ya, me ol' china?
How are you, friend?
51 Fits like a finger in a bum.
It's tight.
101 Tighter than a fish's arse.
that's watertight
289 Flat out like a lizard drinking.
hard work, busy. (But originally sarcastically)
314 Built like a brick shithouse.
1) [sarcastic] weak 2) Extremely well built person!-usually a woman
262 He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock.
Doesn't have it together
321 One foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin.
~
He could talk under wet cement with a mouthful of marbles.
~
271 Dig a hole and bury me, it just doesn't get better than this!
~
2/05/00444 The most fun you can have with your pants on.
~
1/05/0012 I'm sweating like a whore in church.
I'm bloody hot!!!
393 She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
not discriminating about sexual partners
389 I'm not pissing in your pocket mate!
I'm giving to you straight.
336 He had a head on him like a sucked mango.
~
519 Not enough brains to give 'imself a headache!
~
539 Dry as a dead dingo's donger.
~
30/04/00112 (insultingly) Ankles.
three feet lower than a cunt or the only thing seen out of the boss's arse - a suckup
28/04/008 "Snakes bum and a biscuit if you're lucky. Now get out of my kitchen. (In reply to "What's for dinner?"))
stop asking and leave me alone
6 So fat, when he/she rides a motorbike, you can't hear the engine.
~
Got a bad case of the arse burps.
Faltulance
27/04/0011 She's a few french fries short of a happy meal.
not too bright
9 As useless as a soft cock in a nurses dorm.
Useless
He would root the hair on a barber shop floor.
Not fussy
5 All over the place like a mad women's shit/knitting.
Scatter brained.
(You'd want to know) the in's and out's of a magpies arsehole.
Response to a busy body
6 So low he could parachute out a snake's arse and free-fall.
a view on someone else's morals
17 Hope your crabs turn into lobsters and eat your crutch out!!!
I really don't like you much.
7 A couple of kegs short of a party.
Not very intelligent
5 It'd be quicker to train a choko vine.
not easily instucted
8 There's a crowd on the balcony.
That sheila has big tits
6 Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Nervous
3 Edna like a 'orse.
Head on her like a horse - real ugly
13 You smell worse than a dingo left in a shit hole for a year!
you funcking reak sunshine! (Smell awful)
14 I'm so hungry I could eat the front wheel off a menstrual cycle.
really hungry
7 Right through the Georgie Moore.
Door
19 Watch out for the barker eggs!
dog poo.
18 Talking to you is like pissin in the wind.
you never listen to good advice
She's so fat, you'd have to slap her in the guts and ride the waves in.
Speaking on sex with a weight challenged woman
13 She's wider than a choir-boy's asshole.
She's fat.
30 If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it.
Your an ugly and stupid person.
32 Was yer father a glassmaker?
Move! I can't see through you.
5 Shut the Rory O'Moore.
Close the door.
4 Fart and give us an idea which direction to look.
over Oral Sex with a large lady.
7 It's as full as a prostitute on a Saturday night.
whatever your filling up... is full
29 Haven't laughed this much since Granny got her tits caught in the wringer!
Expression of pleasure
32 If I want any shit from you, I'll squeeze your head.
I don't wish for your opinion at this time, thank you!
43 What will you do for a face when the monkey wants it's arse back?
You're ugly
4 All over the place like moo cows poop in a paddock.
Very untidy. A mess.
8 Come on mate, don't get the shits now.
don't get angry
16 Stick a ferret up yer clacker.
~
24 Wank stain!
loser
16 Rip your bloody arms off and belt you with the sloppy end.
~
He's so far up himself he's coming out the other end.
~
7 Busier than a one legged lesso on a pogo stick.
very busy
5 I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of an Afgans undies.
really hungry
25 He / She has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
has a double/ triple chin
9 He's a fart smeller, I mean smart fella!
: )
Stuck out like dog's balls on a cat.
~
58 She could scare buzzards off of a meat wagon!
She's ugly
95  He has F.I.T.H. Syndrome.
He's fucked in the head (stupid)
70 Tis a pity thy mouth be ringed with teeth, 'cos doth spoil a perfect arsehole.
Ugly as all S...
94 Shit stinks, eggs don't bounce and you can't buy generals in a general store.
Answer to the question "Whaddya know?"
166 A little more choke and he would have started!
Said of someone who farts loudly in a crowded room.
179 About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Of absolutely no use...
232 I hope the hairs up your arse turn into drumsticks and beat the shit out of you
~
80 In more shit than a faggot's finger.
In big trouble
19 He's got more balls than Keno.
Showing alot of determination.
227 If I wanted to talk to an asshole like you, I would 've farted!
Go away and leave me alone
151 Couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of fifties.
unlucky,stupid, ignorant just plain dumb usually refers to bad management
35 I am as dry as a nun's tit.
I'm thirsty
116 Seen better heads in a piss trough.
Ugly.
78 He's a bit whiffy under the Warwick's
Warwick short for Warwick Farm (Arm), meaning underarm odour
80 Hornier than a three balled tomcat.
Watch out pussies!
102 As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike/water-ski/surf-board.
useless
44 Full as a fat man's undies.
Had enough to eat
119 Her! She's got a face like a smacked arse.
Boy! You are ugly
156 Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse
Is a lousy driver
185 He couldn't find his arse with both hands, even if his fingers were flashlights!
Real busy, or real stupid
69 I wore my bag of fruit yesterday.
I wore a suit.
119 I'm so hungry, I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies.
~
376 Up at a sparrows fart.
got up very early in the morning
87 As greasy as a butchers prick!
~
91 Fits like a bum in a bucket.
~
134 Busier than a bricklayer in Beirut.
~
80 Love to stay and count our brain cells one by one, but we can't.
No time.
26/04/006 You couldn't drive a fart out of your own arse!
a bad driver
10 He/She was beaten by the ugly stick while swinging from the ugly tree.
is very, very ugly
12 He's got more corrugations than a water tank.
Lots of spare tyres- Rolls of fat.
36 Couldn't produce a fart in a licorice factory.
See: Useless as tits on a bull
88 Wouldn't know if his arse was on fire.
Stupid Person
121 You're as handy as shit on a stick.
your not much help
Couldn't fix a root in a brothel!
Can't organise anything.
106 No more sense than a native bear, an' not half as good-lookin'.
Dumb
39 Too useless to grow chokos on a backyard dunny.
Hopeless.
130 He wouldn't work in an iron lung
Lazy.
25/04/0014 Man's not a camel.
Get me a beer
26 In a battle of wits, he'd be completely unarmed!
Not bright.
45 If his brain was made of electricity, he'd be a walking blackout.
Not bright.
11 Strike me bloody handsome!
give me a break
12 He's got a head like a Dirrambandi mailbox: big and empty.
A slow-witted (and possibly oafish) person. Dirrambandi mailboxes are huge water drums... but people there don't receive much mail, so they're pointless!
23/04/005 Dunking the doughnut.
A woman going for a swim
17 To let fluffy off the chain.
to fart
22/04/0055 Reg Grundys
= undies
52 I told him a real Porky pie.
lie (rhyming slang)
46 Putting on me stubbies & thongs.
Dressing up - tuxedo/suit
21/04/008 He's just a two-bob drongo!
He's an idiot worth about two bob (twenty cents)
20/04/0011 Slipping a Polly-waffle through the doughnut.
Anal sex
208 If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards.
~
19/04/007 Bumping uglies.
Having sex
Who's fucking this pig?
Who is the one in charge? You or the driver?
6 Just a cunt hair.
A measurement of distance when fitting mechanical parts. "Just a litle further.
12 Look at the Brace & bits on her!
Tits. Breasts
19 Couldn't organise a orgy in a brothel.
Hopeless, totally disorganised
14 Yo-yo knickers.
Sleeps around.
20 She's so fat, you'd have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot.
Speaking on sex with a weight challenged woman
12 Did you ride bareback?
Did you use a condom or not?
10 Couldn't score in a brothel.
Bad footy player.
28 Fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down.
Bloody Ugly
12 Like a bulldog eating porridge.
A woman's genitals after intercourse
6 Fat as a boarding house pudding.
chubby
Pushing shit uphill with a pointed stick.
Not much chance
Mum's chucking a wobbley.
she's upset
14 As happy as a man covered in whipped cream and thrown in a bed full of lesbians.
~
16 I'm so unlucky, if I fell into a bucketful of tits I'd come up sucking my thumb.
I am an unfortunate fellow.
13 Spewin'
I am very upset about that.
7 Show us yer axe wound.
expose your female parts
I could eat the bum out of a rotten horse.
Bloody starving.
15 By the breadth of a bees dick.
by a narrow margin.
9 How's your belly where the pig bit ya.
greeting.
6 He's got more arse than a herd of elephants.
~
5 He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him away.
He thinks he's good\posh.
19 You're fucked in the head and got shit for brains.
Idiot
16 Pull your flaps over your head and turn yourself into a red back spider.
shut up woman
6 A head like a bucket of burnt thongs!
Ugly
25 I'll just go and strain the main vein to make the bladder gladder.
visit the mens loo
4 Smile like a mouth full of broken smarties.
crooked teeth
12 Rattle your dags, mate.
Get a move on. (dags=a sheep's dirty wool at the rear end)
22 Piece of piss.
It's easy
221 Oh, pull your lip over your head and swallow!
Go away or shut up.
102 You're as good as two blondes put together.
Not very smart
58 The lights are on, but no-one's home.
A slow person, not all up there.
37 Dryer than an Arab's fart.
Thirsty
46 Carrying on like a pork chop.
overexited, hyperactive
145 He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.
weak
80 As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Ugly
140 You're a waste of sperm/space/air.
~
141 Stroll to the gravy bowl.
Go to the toilet.
54 As handy as mudflaps on a speedboat.
Not handy at all
80 So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread.
~
160 More arse than class.
~
49 So hungry I could eat the arse/crutch out of a low flying duck.
I'm really hungry!
66 You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie.
~
48 Stiff as a wedding night/Saturday night prick.
Sore from exertion/exercise
55 Flash as a rat with a gold tooth.
~
180 Sticks like shit to a blanket.
~
89 Tighter than a bull's arse at fly time.
~
18/04/006 Doesn't know shit from clay.
stupid
12 If brains were shit, you wouldnt have enough to fart.
you're stupid
7 She's got the face of a bush pig.
boy she's ugly
6 She has a head like someone tried to put out a campfire with a screwdriver.
very, very ugly!!!!
14 You're \ it's about as useful as a bag full of farts.
useless
57 She was so ugly that when she walked on the beach even the sewerage got up and left!
Fairly obvious insult.
52 The lift doesn't go to the top floor/all the way to the top.
not very bright
42 Why don't you pull a brown-eye and show us your stretch marks?
a way of putting down a heckler
91 If your I. Q. were 2 points higher it would be the same as a bloody stone.
Pretty dumb.
81 Face like a smashed crab.
ugly
99 As funny as a fart in an elevator/space suit/sleeping bag.
not
86 A few sausages short of a BBQ.
~
153 Got a face like a bashed in shit can.
Insult
144 As welcome as a fart in a phone box.
Get out of here
73 As rare/scarce as hen's teeth.
Rare
102 As useful as lips on a chicken.
not worth a damned
77 I'll fix your Jack and Jill.
Pay for the bill
81 So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him.
Stingy person - will not buy a round of beers.
107 Lower than a snake's armpit / arsehole.
Pretty underhanded
14/04/004 He beats him like a rented mule.
Beat the goalie to score a goal
5 How long is a piece of string?
the unknown, the unpredictable
23 Holy snapping duck shit!
Exclamination!
13 Dip yer didge.
didge=digeridoo. Have a shag.
29 Why don't you have a cup of shut the f**k up!!!
I don't want to listen to you anymore.
9 I'll be off like a Jewish foreskin.
I'm getting out of here
11 Yew little ripper!
Exclamation of delight.
8 Your old man left the best part of you on the sheets.
not real bright
30 Calling for George.
Refers to the sound of someone regugitating into a toilet, (the great white telephone) hence: calling for George ('george' being a course version of the sound made when one chunders!)- expressed with
99 Crack a Fat
what the Americans so blandly call a "hard-on".
13/04/006 He's about as much use as a fart in a thunderstorm!!
he is totally useless/ a waste of space
18 You are so fat you need a road map to find your arse!
~
156 Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.
Stupid or confused
202 Ugly as a hatful/bucket of arseholes.
~
12/04/007 She/He'd scare a dog out of a butcher's shop.
Pretty bloody obvious - Cheers !
27 A face like a marron and hands like a couple of yabbies.
ugly
37 Ugly as a deep sea racing mullet!
Ugly chick
72 He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.
weak
88 Dumber than a box / wagon load of rocks.
Not troubled by intelligence
141 Wouldn't say shit if he had a mouthful.
The quiet type
251 So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!
~
11/04/005 Couldn't organise a dog fuck in a paper bag.
Hopeless at doing anything administrative
12 If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
stupid
5 He/She has all the brains of a stunted swamp chigger.
~
13 You've got a head like a dropped pie.
Very Ugly
14 If brains where dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off!!!
~
46 Your face looks like a cats arse!
you are ugly
53 Couldn't drive ducks to water.
A hopeless car driver
78 You little bugger.
Brat, pain in the arse.
60 Couldn't run a bath!
hopeless at organizing, running a business
49 She's as ugly as a mud fence in a rainstorm.
~
122 I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!
~
49 Don't invite that mangy old bastard.
Don't invite him as he is mean with his money and/or gifts.
47 Popular as a mangy dog.
Not popular.
29 He's got death adders in 'is kick.
Mean with his money-kick=pocket.
64 He's a lousy bastard.
A mean miserable man.
55 You half-pie poofter.
~
118 May your arse cheeks turn into bicycle wheels and backpedal up your arse!
~
47 He couldn't get a kick in a cow yard.
to a useless football player
66 Face like a mallee root.
ugly
79 Got a face like a mile of unpaved road.
Pretty ugly
84 Go and stick your head up a dead bear's bum.
Koala bear that is!
51 Your face is like a twisted ugg boot.
Insult
100 He's off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun.
I am out of here!
56 You're as ugly as a box of blowflies.
Insult
135 Get a woolly dog up ya.
get lost
68 He wouldn't know if a brass band was up him unless he got the drum!
~
10/04/003 Doesn't mind a shandy on a warm day.
likes a drink
8/04/005 She's two clowns short of a circus.
dim witted
7/04/004 Take the ferret for a run.
Sexual intercourse
3 She is a butter face.
Nice legs, butter face
It's so cold it'll freeze my balls off!
The swimming water is cold
I'm as full as an aboriginals valliant.
I cannot eat any more
2 Given an absolute donkey licking.
Given a sound beating
3 Like a sausage in a halway.
He has a small dick or she is loose.
2 Who's good at chucking me a durry, mate?
Who's going to give us a cigarette?
He smokes him like a bad cigar.
Beat his man and score a goal
3 I'm off to shake the snake.
take a piss
It's me verandah over me toolbox!
describing a beergut
2 Couldn't run a choko vine over a shithouse.
Can't manage/organize/operate anything
Shit stabbin', jobby jabbin' doughnut puncher!!!
Men with feminine qualities.
I could bite the balls off a low flyin' pigeon.
I'm very drunk!
She's had more meat through her than an abbatoir.
very sexually active
3 I gotta back one out.
to have a shit
2 She's two bob short of a pound.
A bit slow in the brain
He's a sandwich short of a picnic.
Not very intelligent
If you can't run with the big dogs, don't get off the porch.
If you can't take the pressure, choose alternative course of action
Look! Who`s fuckin/milking this cat?
leave me alone..I'm doin' ok here
3 It's as wet as a whores cunt outside.
pissing down rain
Who's mucking this fonkey?
dont annoy me while I'm trying to do this
As thick as two short planks!
Not too bright!!
They've split the blanket.
Means a couple have split up, separated.
As long as my arse points to the ground.
As long as he is up and running things
2 As rare as a moment of fun at a Frank Field Concert.
very rare!
3 The dingos must have been here.
Messy eaters (food all over the table)
Last about as long as a snowflake in summer.
wouldn't last long
As flat as a shit carters hat.
describing the landscape
Get a room!
saying directed to overly-amorous couples in public
Put ya head in!
Get it together
5 FIGJAM.
Fuck, I'm good, just ask me
3 Gee liggedy!
an exclamation.....some thing good or bad....GEE LIGGEDY!
As thick as a doctors wallet!
a bit slow or stupid
Have a Brad Pitt.
Have a shit (the 90's version of having an Eartha Kitt)
If a bloke on the dole has crabs, does he have pay for his nippers?
~
Kaypoc cruncher.
homosexual (kaypoc is the stuffing inside a mattress)
6 Sorry Oka... the Focka's Chocka.
Sorry Mate .. there just no more room on the plane
3 It's so dry you can flog a flea across it.
dry
I could eat the crutch out of a flyblown sheep at 50 paces.
very hungry
Jahbindi 'n' begorrah!
It's an exclamation of surprise or wonderment
Off like ga cat vomiting.
really off, disgusting
2 Someone is threepence (pronounced throopence) short of a shilling.
thick
3 Sitting around like a gin on a piss pot.
doing nothing
4 Piss flaps like Gene Autreys saddle bags.
lips on a vagina that are quite large
3 She talks so much she'd make a deck hand on a submarine.
hardly takes a breath a carries on talking
4 Talking to Ralph/Ralph's calling.
Throwing up (Ralph being like the sound you make when you heave)
3 I got "Brrr" for you.
embarassed for you (shuddering from embarassment)
2 I could eat the crutch out of a dead sheep.
bloody hungry
3 By the gingo's.
Bloody hell, Shit!
3/04/0010 Give us a gander!
Give me a look.
3 Gotta shoot some nuns.
nun + habit = rabbit
To have a J. Arthur.
J. Arthur Rank = wank = Masturbate
4 I'm off to the dunny for a hammer & hit.
I'm off to the toilet for a shit.
I'm going to the Septic Tank.
Bank (rhyming slang)
27 Your bedroom looks like a Packapoo ticket.
1) Messy 2) can also mean toilet paper
45 She's colder than a witches tit in a brass brassiere.
a cold or sexless woman.
58 Don't come the raw prawn with me mate!
don't delude/try to trick me. To let someone know you don't believe them
73 It's not worth a brass razoo.
Not even worth a penny.
90 I could eat the horse and chase the rider/jockey.
yer bloody hungry!
30/03/003 Drain me didge.
Drain my didge (digeridoo) - take a leak.
16 Watch out for the Devil Dodgers.
Jehovah's Witnesses
11 Jumped around like a flock of sparrows had flown out my arse.
I was excited.
37 I'm fucking this cow, you're just holding the tail out of the way.
I'm doing the job, you're only watching.
6 I'm having bum nuts for me breakie!
bum nuts = eggs for breakfast
11 Away with the pixies.
daydreaming or senile
4 Ya got more chance of a blow job off the pope.
no fu***** way
8 Show me your map of Tassie!
get your knickers off!
6 Ya can't polish a turd.
equivilent to not being able to make a silk purse out of a pigs ear
9 Cock Drops.
Semen
16 Sweating like a pregnant nun in confession
nervous
9 Nice raspberry ripples!
nipples
7 Yeah and I've heard ducks fart under water before too!
Bullshit / Yeah I'm really worried (sarcastic)
11 He's that lousy, he'd eat a yard of shit and complain it was an inch short.
~
8 He's a mollyduker!
He's left handed!
6 Point Percy at the porcelain.
going to have a piss
9 ...since Gods dog was a pup.
for a long time back
7 She has a head on her like the south end of a north bound camel.
She is bloody ugly
13 She didn't get that round mouth from eating square meals!
She's good for a blowjob!
7 Sitting on ya dot.
Sitting down/doing nothing. Dot = asshole.
11 Jerkin' the gherkin.
Having a wank
6 Two hopes; Bob Hope & no fucking hope
no chance at all
Need a piss like a dog needs a floggin.
~
5 As fine as a fairy's fart.
very delicate.
7 He pissed all his money up against the wall.
Spent all his money at the Pub.
8 Shake hands with the wife's best friend.
have a leak
Wet as a soup sandwhich.
horny
7 It's like rooting your sister.
It's so easy it doesn't count.
12 Piece of piss mate!
easy done no problem
9 If your aunty had balls she'd be your uncle.
used when somebody says "if only"!!!
7 His a FIGJAM.
Fuck I'm Good Just Ask Me
6 Couldn't get a root in a monkey brothel with a bag of bananas.
Could not get a root if he tried.
28 No wucking furries.
rhymes with...
53 Did you see her Tasmania?
female pubic area. (Tassie Map)
29 He's a Taswegian.
a Tasmanian
7 Your the sort that licks the bowl when they have finished, rather than pull the chain.
penny-pinching with money.
42 A mob of monkey's would piss more than this.
a guide to how much rain is coming down
48 Ridgy Didge!
even more then 'Fair Dinkum'
38 Not since JC played full-back for the Arabs.
A long time ago.
24 Taking out the garbage.
going to the bathroom/toilet
53 Crissed as a picket.
pissed as a cricket (it is spelt right)
32 Standing prouder than a honeymooner's dick.
Standing tall, erectly.
54 Hey mate! Wanna root?
wanna have sex?
30 All over the place like a drunken spider.
~
27 Stop beating your mongrel.
having a wank
24 I'm going to the snake room to water the horses.
going to take a piss
47 I'd better ask me cheese'n'kisses first.
Ask the missus.
10 I had a drovers breakfast this morning - a quick piss and a look around.
Didn't have time for breakfast or anything before setting to work.
44 We are next to the marble orchard.
a cemetery.
38 There's a potato peeler for ya.
rhyming slang = shiela
27 Smooth as an old man's donger.
Very rough
48 He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle
Looks deleriously happy or satisfied
73 She's up on blocks.
She's got her period.
29 I'm off like a Jewish foreskin.
I'm leaving
33 Sticking out like a stiff in a pair of speedos.
Somebody who's very obvious
27 As useful as a cunt full of cold water.
Not very usefull
25 As happy as a dog with two dicks.
very happy
37 Bullshit Castle.
Australia's Parliament House
27 Copulater / Cop ya later.
Bye for now
43 Could I bludge a fag?
Can I have a cigarette
28 Slick as greased snake shit.
smooth talker, or when something works better than expected
36 See the Lawn pizza?
Steaming pile of vomit left on your front yard when your mates leave after a drinking session.
31 Pass the Cackle-berries.
Eggs
68 We're in the middle of bloody woop-woop.
To be lost, to be in the middle of nowhere.
29 Taking an Eartha Kitt.
Shit
17 Off like Grandma's pants on Fathers day!
To leave very quicky, (as in, "I'm off")
35 It's hotter than a whore in heat.
it's really hot
45 They ought to slap a cows cunt over his head and get a bull to fuck some sense into him!
~
27 Better than a shit in the dark.
Better than nothing at all
I'm gunna get in yer back door and mash yer dinner!!
I'm going to have anal sex with you!!
40 He's about as useful as a nun's cunt.
Not useful at all
24 All over the place like a mad woman's piss.
Out of control
38 Going to drain the one-eyed trouser snake.
Urinate
44 I'm going to have me a dingo's breakfast.
A piss and a look around.
46 Suck it an' see
Find out for yourself.
41 Veranda over the toolshed.
Belly over the male gentials
24 Me heads throbbing harder than a honeymooners disk.
I got a headache.
25 Goes like shit off a shiny shovel.
Really fast.
31 Splatter the bladder.
To urinate.
Squeeze the cheese.
To defecate.
33 Drain the main vain.
To urinate.
55 If I fell in a barrel of bosoms, I'd come out sucking my thumb.
Unlucky
28 Meaner than a bucket of smashed assholes!
~
40 Her cherry has been pushed back so far, she could use it a tail light.
~
35 Does a Koala shit in a gum tree and wipe his ass on a Cockatoo?
Most likely
94 Sure as there's cold shit in a dead cat.
the certainty of the situation
71 Happy as a dog in a hub cap factory.
~
39 Madder than a baptist in a brothel.
really angry
72 Doing the Chocolate Cha Cha.
Anal Intercourse
53 Bashing the bishop.
Masturbation
48 As common as a cat/dog in Springvale.
Rare. (Alluding to Vietnamese eating dogs/cats)
67 Does a fat dog fart?
yes
63 He's as full as a goog.
full, so drunk he can't stand up
49 A rooster one day, a feather duster the next.
the uncertainty of success
51 To get off at Redfern.
coitus interrupts
32 That scrub was so thick a dog couldn't bark in it.
~
28 Wouldn't that rip the crater out of granny's crutch!
When something bad happens.
75 Syphon the python
Urinate
32 Make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here.
Got to get gotta here!
45 There's a claggy on your waggy!
You dog's got a dirty behind
31 I'm on the wallaby track.
Looking for work
42 I was driving the porcelain/ceramic bus this morning.
to throw up (vomit) down the toilet bowl
65 Were you on the porcelain telephone?
vomiting into the loo!
113 Sticks out like dog's balls.
Doesn't fit in, out of place.
59 Last about as long as a fart would in a blizzard.
~
42 Go water a horse.
go urinate
57 I'm gonna strangle a brownie.
Nothing to do with girl scouts!
42 Choke a brown dog.
~
36 Up to the apricots with an eurasian air hostess.
~
78 Awning over the toy shop.
awning equals beer gut and so toyshop is...
103 Where the crows fly backwards.
remote outback, strange place
76 Put the hard word on.
Ask for sex bluntly
55 Stop pissing in his pocket.
Stop trying to ingratiate yourself with him
33 No better than a vegemite sandwich.
~
43 Needed as a back pocket in a tshirt.
Not useful.
28/03/009 Few snags short of the barbie
not all there idiot (snags means sausages)
36 A few chops short of a barbie.
not all there
26/03/0051 I'd be up her like a rat up a drain pipe.
She very fuckable.
38 Up and down like a mad woman's shit/custard.
Something which is 'all over the place'. ie a rough track
25/03/0090 My back teeth are floating.
I'm in real need of a piss
60 Fucked in the head.
No brains, not quite all there
87 Drinking with Pat Malone
drinking alone
60 He shoots blanks.
Sterile
112 clear as mud
unclear
55 Like a rat up a rope/drainpipe.
very quickly
99 He's on the dog and bone.
telephone
130 Pissed as a fart.
had a little too much to drink.
90 Mad/Silly as a cut snake.
~
24/03/00131 Fuck me drunk!
I can't believe it.
123 Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.
Be thankful for what you've got.
124 I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat from a Japanese Sumo wrestler's jockstrap.
~
19/03/004 Busier than a blue-arsed blowfly.
pretty darned busy.
66 As slow as a wet week.
That's slow.
56 She goes like the clappers.
Move fast
10/03/00114 A stubbie/can short of a six pack.
Missing some sense
105 Another beer? Na, better hit the frog 'n toad.
Road.
6/03/007 It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!
hot!
9 If I bought a kangaroo...It wouldn't hop!
un-lucky
10 Like putting Dracula in charge of the Blood Bank.
unwise decision
4 Donkey Drops.
Idiot: Refering to as dumb as donkey shit.
7 Up and down like a lift drivers arse.
moody person
4 Smile on your face like a carpet snake in a chook pen.
~
5 As popular as a turd in a lunch box.
Unwelcome
13 A face that only a mother could love.
Ugly
6 About as attractive as a box of frogs!
ugly
7 I've seen better legs on the daily double!
fat/unattractive legs
26 As useful as a handbrake on a Holden.
useless
5/03/008 What and your shit dont stink?
Said to someone who think they are perfect.
3 Just let me wet me whistle.
I need a drink
2 Any slower and he'd be going backwards.
see 'slow coach'
3 Barkin up the wrong tree.
got it wrong (made a mistake)
12 He's blotto!
Very drunk, incapable of standing.
7 Crikey Moses!
Exclamation
13 Every man and his dog was there.
Something that's well attended
10 What a crock of shit!
a lie
11 Bloody oath mate!
you are indeed correct
27 He is jumped up.
conceited
44 I'll give yer a bell.
I will phone you
26/02/007 She'd be right mate!
She'd be apples, alright.
10 It couldn't be done in a month of Sundays.
It's going to take a long time.
7 Come on slow coach!
lagging behind, slow, lazy.
8 Tough Titties!
Bad luck! (sarcastic or sympathic)
20/02/0016 She's had shit thrown at her through a fly-wire door.
refers to a sheilah's freckles (not her freckle!!)
19/02/0024 Come over and see my Malvern Star.
Car
18/02/00120 If it was raining palaces, I'd get hit by a dunny door.
~
15/02/009 Straight as a nun's cunt.
means DEFINITELY not gay
4 Snappy-hot, extra-grouse, good, fucking bonzer!
pretty damn good!
7 That'd knock a cat off a gut wagon.
Smells awful.
Strewth! Cop a gekko at that!
Good Lord, would you look at that.
10 He couldn't organise his way out of a wet paper bag.
Really disorganised
8 Screw the pooch.
Stuff up. (Pooch = dog)
7 It's a wigwam for a Goose's bridle.
Mind your own business ( in response to "What is ...?")
4 Sticks out like a country shithouse.
Very obvious
If it was raining maidens, I'd be washed down the gutter with a poofter.
said by a unlucky bloke in trying to pick up females
5 In and out like a fiddlers elbow.
really busy or a driver darting in and out of traffic
3 He made a real dog's breakfast of it.
Didn't perform the task very well; made a mess of it.
4 Fits like a prick in a shirt sleeve.
a very loose fit
5 Dont fret your freckle.
don't worry/stress
52 I don't know who's fucking skinning this cat, but I'm getting scratched.
why don't you keep your mind on the bloody job !!
14 Up to ya nuts in guts.
Rooting
16 Uglier than homemade sin!
~
14/02/0010 Welcome as a turd in a swimming pool.
unpopular
11/02/0015 It would kill a brown dog!
Nothing can kill a brown dog, but this tasted so bad that it could,
7 Gone to Yackandandah.
Gone to take a gander (take a look!)
12 To park a tiger on the rug.
to throw up (vomit)
8 Don't plait your poop!
Don't worry, stress
5 Don't get your tits in a tangle.
see:Don't get your knickers in a knot.
9 She's got the tom-tits with me.
got the shits, irritated
10/02/005 Pigs in the sky.
Police in planes checking speeding motorists.
9 He's a teapot.
A gay man
8 Trick cyclist
Psychiatrist
7 A David Gower.
A Shower
8 He couldn't drive a knife through soft butter.
A bad driver.
7 So thin she wouldn't cast a shadow.
self explanatory
5 Wetter than a sock in a puddle.
a lot of rain
7 After all the rain it's still only half way up the ducks.
Didn't get us anywhere; Don't worry. Water is always half up on ducks.
76 A shingle short on the roof of life.
a bit slow
73 I'm 'aving a dogs eye and dead 'orse.
Meat pie and sauce
104 What do you think it is, Bushweek?
I'm not a dumb cocky from the bush you can't put it over me
86 That's about as funny as a kick in the head.
~
67 About as useful/handy as pockets on a singlet.
effing useless
70 Couldn't lie straight in bed.
people know your lying
82 Know yer! I'd know your skin if I saw it hanging on a bush.
~
109 A few crumbs short of a biscuit.
neuron impaired
69 I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat.
I need a drink
88 Yer so thin you'd have to run around in a the shower to get wet.
~
122 Seven sandwiches short of a picnic.
~
91 I feel like a dog's breakfast.
Feel pretty awful.
82 Trouble and strife and billy lids.
wife and kids
96You've got some face fungus.
needs a shave
81You've got tickets on yourself mate!
Someone who thinks a lot of themselves
91Fair suck of the sav!
sav=saveloy=Frankerfurt. Fair go! Give me a break!
67Lower than a snake's belly.
~
84Well that's down the gurgler.
~
109 He spat the dummy.
mega pissed off
75Off to the bog to leave an offering.
A sewer deposit.
111Fair crack of the whip!
I appeal for ethical behaviour
69Welcome as a pork chop in Jerusalem or a synagogue.
Not popular.
70I wouldn't touch it with a forty foot pole.
~
136 Pass the dead horse.
Tomato Sauce
The End.