| Date || Tally ||Sayings|
|10/05/00||15||To talk to God on the big white telephone.|
to throw up (vomit)
Give birth to a politician.|
To have a shit.
About as useful as tits on a bull.|
May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down.|
Shut your cake hole.|
Did you get a peking duck?|
Did you get a f**k
All these butternut snaps.|
rhyming slang = a jap
Couldn't organise a fart in a chillie eating contest.|
not good at organisation
Shite and tolley balls.|
shit and shit
You have an IQ of 2 , and it takes 3 to grunt!|
Seen better legs on a table.|
Cellulite city. Fat legs.
You usless kiwi import.|
He couldn't drive a nail into a bucket of water.|
to a hopeless driver
I'm going to give birth to your twin!|
Have a shit
Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.|
can't organise anything
A few wanks short of an orgasm.|
not all there
Ya bloody wombat.|
Too slow to keep worms in a tin.|
Gonna drain me dragon.|
May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.|
He's floggin the log/dog again!|
Havin' a wank. (Masturbating)
Off like a bride's nightie.|
Sharp as a beachball.|
Not very bright/quick.
Make like a guillotine and head off.|
Got to get going
1) It's the truth. 2) Exclamation! 3) Is it the truth?
He's not the full quid.|
Gunna char some mystery bags.|
cook some sausages on the barbecue
Wouldn't have that trouble if it had fur around it.|
used when another is having trouble trying to insert one object inside another - eg trying to screw a bolt into an awkward spot in a motor.
Raining cats and dogs.|
Rain so heavy that everthing is coming down.
So cold it'll freeze the balls on a brass monkey.|
coooold (brass monkey being the three balls that hang outside a pawn shop )
If brains were dynamite, he could blow the dust from his ears.|
thick as a brick
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.|
You're basically scum
I need that like a submarine needs a screen door.|
Ya bloody galah!|
You slow witted one.
Don't get your knickers in a knot.|
Don't get agitated.
Stone the (flaming) crows!|
I'll go and have a Captain Cook.|
go for a look
You got the rough end of the pineapple.|
What a load of codswollip.|
A good root and a fart would kill him.|
Scarce as rocking horse shit.|
It's so cold, me headlights are on high beam.|
Also known as Nippelus Erectus
Mate, I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick!|
a rather undesirable woman
Wanna go halves in a rape charge?|
What do you think of that Woman?
I wish his dad had settled for a blow job.|
So unlucky that if it were raining virgins he would be struck in the head by a poof.|
Geez your brothers ugly! / Jesus Christ your sister is ugly!|
Said to a twin as an insult.
May the all pores of your skin turn into little assholes and cover you in shit!|
He must have 2 penises...he couldn't be that stupid from pulling one.|
Drier than a nuns nasty.|
Got you by the short and curlies.|
Got you on a short leash.... pubic hairs!
Busier than a one armed Sydney cab driver with the crabs.|
Happy as a bastard on Father's Day.|
Bumping ya gums.|
Talking too much
You must be the world's only living brain donor.|
dumb or stupid to the extreme
Thats about as useful as a G rated pron flick!|
Slicker than whale shit on an iceberg.|
Arh, stick your head up your Kyber Pass.|
How are ya, me ol' china?|
How are you, friend?
Fits like a finger in a bum.|
Tighter than a fish's arse.|
Flat out like a lizard drinking.|
hard work, busy. (But originally sarcastically)
Built like a brick shithouse.|
1) [sarcastic] weak 2) Extremely well built person!-usually a woman
He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock.|
Doesn't have it together
One foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin.|
He could talk under wet cement with a mouthful of marbles.|
Dig a hole and bury me, it just doesn't get better than this!|
The most fun you can have with your pants on.|
I'm sweating like a whore in church.|
I'm bloody hot!!!
She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.|
not discriminating about sexual partners
I'm not pissing in your pocket mate!|
I'm giving to you straight.
He had a head on him like a sucked mango.|
Not enough brains to give 'imself a headache!|
Dry as a dead dingo's donger.|
three feet lower than a cunt or the only thing seen out of the boss's arse - a suckup
"Snakes bum and a biscuit if you're lucky. Now get out of my kitchen. (In reply to "What's for
stop asking and leave me alone
So fat, when he/she rides a motorbike, you can't hear the engine.|
Got a bad case of the arse burps.|
She's a few french fries short of a happy meal.|
not too bright
As useless as a soft cock in a nurses dorm.|
He would root the hair on a barber shop floor.|
All over the place like a mad women's shit/knitting.|
(You'd want to know) the in's and out's of a magpies arsehole.|
Response to a busy body
So low he could parachute out a snake's arse and free-fall.|
a view on someone else's morals
Hope your crabs turn into lobsters and eat your crutch out!!!|
I really don't like you much.
A couple of kegs short of a party.|
Not very intelligent
It'd be quicker to train a choko vine.|
not easily instucted
There's a crowd on the balcony.|
That sheila has big tits
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.|
Edna like a 'orse.|
Head on her like a horse - real ugly
You smell worse than a dingo left in a shit hole for a year!|
you funcking reak sunshine! (Smell awful)
I'm so hungry I could eat the front wheel off a menstrual cycle.|
Right through the Georgie Moore.|
Watch out for the barker eggs!|
Talking to you is like pissin in the wind.|
you never listen to good advice
She's so fat, you'd have to slap her in the guts and ride the waves in.|
Speaking on sex with a weight challenged woman
She's wider than a choir-boy's asshole.|
If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it.|
Your an ugly and stupid person.
Was yer father a glassmaker?|
Move! I can't see through you.
Shut the Rory O'Moore.|
Close the door.
Fart and give us an idea which direction to look.|
over Oral Sex with a large lady.
It's as full as a prostitute on a Saturday night.|
whatever your filling up... is full
Haven't laughed this much since Granny got her tits caught in the wringer!|
Expression of pleasure
If I want any shit from you, I'll squeeze your head.|
I don't wish for your opinion at this time, thank you!
What will you do for a face when the monkey wants it's arse back?|
All over the place like moo cows poop in a paddock.|
Very untidy. A mess.
Come on mate, don't get the shits now.|
don't get angry
Stick a ferret up yer clacker.|
Rip your bloody arms off and belt you with the sloppy end.|
He's so far up himself he's coming out the other end.|
Busier than a one legged lesso on a pogo stick.|
I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of an Afgans undies.|
He / She has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.|
has a double/ triple chin
He's a fart smeller, I mean smart fella!|
Stuck out like dog's balls on a cat.|
She could scare buzzards off of a meat wagon!|
He has F.I.T.H. Syndrome.|
He's fucked in the head (stupid)
Tis a pity thy mouth be ringed with teeth, 'cos doth spoil a perfect arsehole.|
Ugly as all S...
Shit stinks, eggs don't bounce and you can't buy generals in a general store.|
Answer to the question "Whaddya know?"
A little more choke and he would have started!|
Said of someone who farts loudly in a crowded room.
About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.|
Of absolutely no use...
I hope the hairs up your arse turn into drumsticks and beat the shit out of you|
In more shit than a faggot's finger.|
In big trouble
He's got more balls than Keno.|
Showing alot of determination.
If I wanted to talk to an asshole like you, I would 've farted!|
Go away and leave me alone
Couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of fifties.|
unlucky,stupid, ignorant just plain dumb usually refers to bad management
I am as dry as a nun's tit.|
Seen better heads in a piss trough.|
He's a bit whiffy under the Warwick's|
Warwick short for Warwick Farm (Arm), meaning underarm odour
Hornier than a three balled tomcat.|
Watch out pussies!
As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike/water-ski/surf-board.|
Full as a fat man's undies.|
Had enough to eat
Her! She's got a face like a smacked arse.|
Boy! You are ugly
Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse|
Is a lousy driver
He couldn't find his arse with both hands, even if his fingers were flashlights!|
Real busy, or real stupid
I wore my bag of fruit yesterday.|
I wore a suit.
I'm so hungry, I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies.|
Up at a sparrows fart.|
got up very early in the morning
As greasy as a butchers prick!|
Fits like a bum in a bucket.|
Busier than a bricklayer in Beirut.|
Love to stay and count our brain cells one by one, but we can't.|
You couldn't drive a fart out of your own arse!|
a bad driver
He/She was beaten by the ugly stick while swinging from the ugly tree.|
is very, very ugly
He's got more corrugations than a water tank.|
Lots of spare tyres- Rolls of fat.
Couldn't produce a fart in a licorice factory.|
See: Useless as tits on a bull
Wouldn't know if his arse was on fire.|
You're as handy as shit on a stick.|
your not much help
Couldn't fix a root in a brothel!|
Can't organise anything.
No more sense than a native bear, an' not half as good-lookin'.|
Too useless to grow chokos on a backyard dunny.|
He wouldn't work in an iron lung|
Man's not a camel.|
Get me a beer
In a battle of wits, he'd be completely unarmed!|
If his brain was made of electricity, he'd be a walking blackout.|
Strike me bloody handsome!|
give me a break
He's got a head like a Dirrambandi mailbox: big and empty.|
A slow-witted (and possibly oafish) person. Dirrambandi mailboxes are huge water drums... but people there don't receive much mail, so they're pointless!
Dunking the doughnut.|
A woman going for a swim
To let fluffy off the chain.|
I told him a real Porky pie.|
lie (rhyming slang)
Putting on me stubbies & thongs.|
Dressing up - tuxedo/suit
He's just a two-bob drongo!|
He's an idiot worth about two bob (twenty cents)
Slipping a Polly-waffle through the doughnut.|
If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards.|
Who's fucking this pig?|
Who is the one in charge? You or the driver?
Just a cunt hair.|
A measurement of distance when fitting mechanical parts. "Just a litle further.
Look at the Brace & bits on her!|
Couldn't organise a orgy in a brothel.|
Hopeless, totally disorganised
She's so fat, you'd have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot.|
Speaking on sex with a weight challenged woman
Did you ride bareback?|
Did you use a condom or not?
Couldn't score in a brothel.|
Bad footy player.
Fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down.|
Like a bulldog eating porridge.|
A woman's genitals after intercourse
Fat as a boarding house pudding.|
Pushing shit uphill with a pointed stick.|
Not much chance
Mum's chucking a wobbley.|
As happy as a man covered in whipped cream and thrown in a bed full of lesbians.|
I'm so unlucky, if I fell into a bucketful of tits I'd come up sucking my thumb.|
I am an unfortunate fellow.
I am very upset about that.
Show us yer axe wound.|
expose your female parts
I could eat the bum out of a rotten horse.|
By the breadth of a bees dick.|
by a narrow margin.
How's your belly where the pig bit ya.|
He's got more arse than a herd of elephants.|
He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him away.|
He thinks he's good\posh.
You're fucked in the head and got shit for brains.|
Pull your flaps over your head and turn yourself into a red back spider.|
shut up woman
A head like a bucket of burnt thongs!|
I'll just go and strain the main vein to make the bladder gladder.|
visit the mens loo
Smile like a mouth full of broken smarties.|
Rattle your dags, mate.|
Get a move on. (dags=a sheep's dirty wool at the rear end)
Piece of piss.|
Oh, pull your lip over your head and swallow!|
Go away or shut up.
You're as good as two blondes put together.|
Not very smart
The lights are on, but no-one's home.|
A slow person, not all up there.
Dryer than an Arab's fart.|
Carrying on like a pork chop.|
He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.|
As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.|
You're a waste of sperm/space/air.|
Stroll to the gravy bowl.|
Go to the toilet.
As handy as mudflaps on a speedboat.|
Not handy at all
So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread.|
More arse than class.|
So hungry I could eat the arse/crutch out of a low flying duck.|
I'm really hungry!
You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie.|
Stiff as a wedding night/Saturday night prick.|
Sore from exertion/exercise
Flash as a rat with a gold tooth.|
Sticks like shit to a blanket.|
Tighter than a bull's arse at fly time.|
Doesn't know shit from clay.|
If brains were shit, you wouldnt have enough to fart.|
She's got the face of a bush pig.|
boy she's ugly
She has a head like someone tried to put out a campfire with a screwdriver.|
very, very ugly!!!!
You're \ it's about as useful as a bag full of farts.|
She was so ugly that when she walked on the beach even the sewerage got up and left!|
Fairly obvious insult.
The lift doesn't go to the top floor/all the way to the top.|
not very bright
Why don't you pull a brown-eye and show us your stretch marks?|
a way of putting down a heckler
If your I. Q. were 2 points higher it would be the same as a bloody stone.|
Face like a smashed crab.|
As funny as a fart in an elevator/space suit/sleeping bag.|
A few sausages short of a BBQ.|
Got a face like a bashed in shit can.|
As welcome as a fart in a phone box.|
Get out of here
As rare/scarce as hen's teeth.|
As useful as lips on a chicken.|
not worth a damned
I'll fix your Jack and Jill.|
Pay for the bill
So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him.|
Stingy person - will not buy a round of beers.
Lower than a snake's armpit / arsehole.|
He beats him like a rented mule.|
Beat the goalie to score a goal
How long is a piece of string?|
the unknown, the unpredictable
Holy snapping duck shit!|
Dip yer didge.|
didge=digeridoo. Have a shag.
Why don't you have a cup of shut the f**k up!!!|
I don't want to listen to you anymore.
I'll be off like a Jewish foreskin.|
I'm getting out of here
Yew little ripper!|
Exclamation of delight.
Your old man left the best part of you on the sheets.|
not real bright
Calling for George.|
Refers to the sound of someone regugitating into a toilet, (the great white telephone) hence: calling for George ('george' being a course version of the sound made when one chunders!)- expressed with
Crack a Fat|
what the Americans so blandly call a "hard-on".
He's about as much use as a fart in a thunderstorm!!|
he is totally useless/ a waste of space
You are so fat you need a road map to find your arse!|
Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.|
Stupid or confused
Ugly as a hatful/bucket of arseholes.|
She/He'd scare a dog out of a butcher's shop.|
Pretty bloody obvious - Cheers !
A face like a marron and hands like a couple of yabbies.|
Ugly as a deep sea racing mullet!|
He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.|
Dumber than a box / wagon load of rocks.|
Not troubled by intelligence
Wouldn't say shit if he had a mouthful.|
The quiet type
So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!|
Couldn't organise a dog fuck in a paper bag.|
Hopeless at doing anything administrative
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.|
He/She has all the brains of a stunted swamp chigger.|
You've got a head like a dropped pie.|
If brains where dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off!!!|
Your face looks like a cats arse!|
you are ugly
Couldn't drive ducks to water.|
A hopeless car driver
You little bugger.|
Brat, pain in the arse.
Couldn't run a bath!|
hopeless at organizing, running a business
She's as ugly as a mud fence in a rainstorm.|
I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!|
Don't invite that mangy old bastard.|
Don't invite him as he is mean with his money and/or gifts.
Popular as a mangy dog.|
He's got death adders in 'is kick.|
Mean with his money-kick=pocket.
He's a lousy bastard.|
A mean miserable man.
You half-pie poofter.|
May your arse cheeks turn into bicycle wheels and backpedal up your arse!|
He couldn't get a kick in a cow yard.|
to a useless football player
Face like a mallee root.|
Got a face like a mile of unpaved road.|
Go and stick your head up a dead bear's bum.|
Koala bear that is!
Your face is like a twisted ugg boot.|
He's off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun.|
I am out of here!
You're as ugly as a box of blowflies.|
Get a woolly dog up ya.|
He wouldn't know if a brass band was up him unless he got the drum!|
Doesn't mind a shandy on a warm day.|
likes a drink
She's two clowns short of a circus.|
Take the ferret for a run.|
She is a butter face.|
Nice legs, butter face
It's so cold it'll freeze my balls off!|
The swimming water is cold
I'm as full as an aboriginals valliant.|
I cannot eat any more
Given an absolute donkey licking.|
Given a sound beating
Like a sausage in a halway.|
He has a small dick or she is loose.
Who's good at chucking me a durry, mate?|
Who's going to give us a cigarette?
He smokes him like a bad cigar.|
Beat his man and score a goal
I'm off to shake the snake.|
take a piss
It's me verandah over me toolbox!|
describing a beergut
Couldn't run a choko vine over a shithouse.|
Can't manage/organize/operate anything
Shit stabbin', jobby jabbin' doughnut puncher!!!|
Men with feminine qualities.
I could bite the balls off a low flyin' pigeon.|
I'm very drunk!
She's had more meat through her than an abbatoir.|
very sexually active
I gotta back one out.|
to have a shit
She's two bob short of a pound.|
A bit slow in the brain
He's a sandwich short of a picnic.|
Not very intelligent
If you can't run with the big dogs, don't get off the porch.|
If you can't take the pressure, choose alternative course of action
Look! Who`s fuckin/milking this cat?|
leave me alone..I'm doin' ok here
It's as wet as a whores cunt outside.|
pissing down rain
Who's mucking this fonkey?|
dont annoy me while I'm trying to do this
As thick as two short planks!|
Not too bright!!
They've split the blanket.|
Means a couple have split up, separated.
As long as my arse points to the ground.|
As long as he is up and running things
As rare as a moment of fun at a Frank Field Concert.|
The dingos must have been here.|
Messy eaters (food all over the table)
Last about as long as a snowflake in summer.|
wouldn't last long
As flat as a shit carters hat.|
describing the landscape
Get a room!|
saying directed to overly-amorous couples in public
Put ya head in!|
Get it together
Fuck, I'm good, just ask me
an exclamation.....some thing good or bad....GEE LIGGEDY!
As thick as a doctors wallet!|
a bit slow or stupid
Have a Brad Pitt.|
Have a shit (the 90's version of having an Eartha Kitt)
If a bloke on the dole has crabs, does he have pay for his nippers?|
homosexual (kaypoc is the stuffing inside a mattress)
Sorry Oka... the Focka's Chocka.|
Sorry Mate .. there just no more room on the plane
It's so dry you can flog a flea across it.|
I could eat the crutch out of a flyblown sheep at 50 paces.|
Jahbindi 'n' begorrah!|
It's an exclamation of surprise or wonderment
Off like ga cat vomiting.|
really off, disgusting
Someone is threepence (pronounced throopence) short of a shilling.|
Sitting around like a gin on a piss pot.|
Piss flaps like Gene Autreys saddle bags.|
lips on a vagina that are quite large
She talks so much she'd make a deck hand on a submarine.|
hardly takes a breath a carries on talking
Talking to Ralph/Ralph's calling.|
Throwing up (Ralph being like the sound you make when you heave)
I got "Brrr" for you.|
embarassed for you (shuddering from embarassment)
I could eat the crutch out of a dead sheep.|
By the gingo's.|
Bloody hell, Shit!
Give us a gander!|
Give me a look.
Gotta shoot some nuns.|
nun + habit = rabbit
To have a J. Arthur.|
J. Arthur Rank = wank = Masturbate
I'm off to the dunny for a hammer & hit.|
I'm off to the toilet for a shit.
I'm going to the Septic Tank.|
Bank (rhyming slang)
Your bedroom looks like a Packapoo ticket.|
1) Messy 2) can also mean toilet paper
She's colder than a witches tit in a brass brassiere.|
a cold or sexless woman.
Don't come the raw prawn with me mate!|
don't delude/try to trick me. To let someone know you don't believe them
It's not worth a brass razoo.|
Not even worth a penny.
I could eat the horse and chase the rider/jockey.|
yer bloody hungry!
Drain me didge.|
Drain my didge (digeridoo) - take a leak.
Watch out for the Devil Dodgers.|
Jumped around like a flock of sparrows had flown out my arse.|
I was excited.
I'm fucking this cow, you're just holding the tail out of the way.|
I'm doing the job, you're only watching.
I'm having bum nuts for me breakie!|
bum nuts = eggs for breakfast
Away with the pixies.|
daydreaming or senile
Ya got more chance of a blow job off the pope.|
no fu***** way
Show me your map of Tassie!|
get your knickers off!
Ya can't polish a turd.|
equivilent to not being able to make a silk purse out of a pigs ear
Sweating like a pregnant nun in confession|
Nice raspberry ripples!|
Yeah and I've heard ducks fart under water before too!|
Bullshit / Yeah I'm really worried (sarcastic)
He's that lousy, he'd eat a yard of shit and complain it was an inch short.|
He's a mollyduker!|
He's left handed!
Point Percy at the porcelain.|
going to have a piss
...since Gods dog was a pup.|
for a long time back
She has a head on her like the south end of a north bound camel.|
She is bloody ugly
She didn't get that round mouth from eating square meals!|
She's good for a blowjob!
Sitting on ya dot.|
Sitting down/doing nothing. Dot = asshole.
Jerkin' the gherkin.|
Having a wank
Two hopes; Bob Hope & no fucking hope|
no chance at all
Need a piss like a dog needs a floggin.|
As fine as a fairy's fart.|
He pissed all his money up against the wall.|
Spent all his money at the Pub.
Shake hands with the wife's best friend.|
have a leak
Wet as a soup sandwhich.|
It's like rooting your sister.|
It's so easy it doesn't count.
Piece of piss mate!|
easy done no problem
If your aunty had balls she'd be your uncle.|
used when somebody says "if only"!!!
His a FIGJAM.|
Fuck I'm Good Just Ask Me
Couldn't get a root in a monkey brothel with a bag of bananas.|
Could not get a root if he tried.
No wucking furries.|
Did you see her Tasmania?|
female pubic area. (Tassie Map)
He's a Taswegian.|
Your the sort that licks the bowl when they have finished, rather than pull
penny-pinching with money.
A mob of monkey's would piss more than this.|
a guide to how much rain is coming down
even more then 'Fair Dinkum'
Not since JC played full-back for the Arabs.|
A long time ago.
Taking out the garbage.|
going to the bathroom/toilet
Crissed as a picket.|
pissed as a cricket (it is spelt right)
Standing prouder than a honeymooner's dick.|
Standing tall, erectly.
Hey mate! Wanna root?|
wanna have sex?
All over the place like a drunken spider.|
Stop beating your mongrel.|
having a wank
I'm going to the snake room to water the horses.|
going to take a piss
I'd better ask me cheese'n'kisses first.|
Ask the missus.
I had a drovers breakfast this morning - a quick piss and a look around.|
Didn't have time for breakfast or anything before setting to work.
We are next to the marble orchard.|
There's a potato peeler for ya.|
rhyming slang = shiela
Smooth as an old man's donger.|
He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle|
Looks deleriously happy or satisfied
She's up on blocks.|
She's got her period.
I'm off like a Jewish foreskin.|
Sticking out like a stiff in a pair of speedos.|
Somebody who's very obvious
As useful as a cunt full of cold water.|
Not very usefull
As happy as a dog with two dicks.|
Australia's Parliament House
Copulater / Cop ya later.|
Bye for now
Could I bludge a fag?|
Can I have a cigarette
Slick as greased snake shit.|
smooth talker, or when something works better than expected
See the Lawn pizza?|
Steaming pile of vomit left on your front yard when your mates leave after a drinking session.
Pass the Cackle-berries.|
We're in the middle of bloody woop-woop.|
To be lost, to be in the middle of nowhere.
Taking an Eartha Kitt.|
Off like Grandma's pants on Fathers day!|
To leave very quicky, (as in, "I'm off")
It's hotter than a whore in heat.|
it's really hot
They ought to slap a cows cunt over his head and get a bull to fuck some
sense into him!|
Better than a shit in the dark.|
Better than nothing at all
I'm gunna get in yer back door and mash yer dinner!!|
I'm going to have anal sex with you!!
He's about as useful as a nun's cunt.|
Not useful at all
All over the place like a mad woman's piss.|
Out of control
Going to drain the one-eyed trouser snake.|
I'm going to have me a dingo's breakfast.|
A piss and a look around.
Suck it an' see|
Find out for yourself.
Veranda over the toolshed.|
Belly over the male gentials
Me heads throbbing harder than a honeymooners disk.|
I got a headache.
Goes like shit off a shiny shovel.|
Splatter the bladder.|
Squeeze the cheese.|
Drain the main vain.|
If I fell in a barrel of bosoms, I'd come out sucking my thumb.|
Meaner than a bucket of smashed assholes!|
Her cherry has been pushed back so far, she could use it a tail light.|
Does a Koala shit in a gum tree and wipe his ass on a Cockatoo?|
Sure as there's cold shit in a dead cat.|
the certainty of the situation
Happy as a dog in a hub cap factory.|
Madder than a baptist in a brothel.|
Doing the Chocolate Cha Cha.|
Bashing the bishop.|
As common as a cat/dog in Springvale.|
Rare. (Alluding to Vietnamese eating dogs/cats)
Does a fat dog fart?|
He's as full as a goog.|
full, so drunk he can't stand up
A rooster one day, a feather duster the next.|
the uncertainty of success
To get off at Redfern.|
That scrub was so thick a dog couldn't bark in it.|
Wouldn't that rip the crater out of granny's crutch!|
When something bad happens.
Syphon the python|
Make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here.|
Got to get gotta here!
There's a claggy on your waggy!|
You dog's got a dirty behind
I'm on the wallaby track.|
Looking for work
I was driving the porcelain/ceramic bus this morning.|
to throw up (vomit) down the toilet bowl
Were you on the porcelain telephone?|
vomiting into the loo!
Sticks out like dog's balls.|
Doesn't fit in, out of place.
Last about as long as a fart would in a blizzard.|
Go water a horse.|
I'm gonna strangle a brownie.|
Nothing to do with girl scouts!
Choke a brown dog.|
Up to the apricots with an eurasian air hostess.|
Awning over the toy shop.|
awning equals beer gut and so toyshop is...
Where the crows fly backwards.|
remote outback, strange place
Put the hard word on.|
Ask for sex bluntly
Stop pissing in his pocket.|
Stop trying to ingratiate yourself with him
No better than a vegemite sandwich.|
Needed as a back pocket in a tshirt.|
Few snags short of the barbie|
not all there idiot (snags means sausages)
A few chops short of a barbie.|
not all there
I'd be up her like a rat up a drain pipe.|
She very fuckable.
Up and down like a mad woman's shit/custard.|
Something which is 'all over the place'. ie a rough track
My back teeth are floating.|
I'm in real need of a piss
Fucked in the head.|
No brains, not quite all there
Drinking with Pat Malone|
He shoots blanks.|
clear as mud|
Like a rat up a rope/drainpipe.|
He's on the dog and bone.|
Pissed as a fart.|
had a little too much to drink.
Mad/Silly as a cut snake.|
Fuck me drunk!|
I can't believe it.
Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.|
Be thankful for what you've got.
I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat from a Japanese Sumo wrestler's
Busier than a blue-arsed blowfly.|
pretty darned busy.
As slow as a wet week.|
She goes like the clappers.|
A stubbie/can short of a six pack.|
Missing some sense
Another beer? Na, better hit the frog 'n toad.|
It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!|
If I bought a kangaroo...It wouldn't hop!|
Like putting Dracula in charge of the Blood Bank.|
Idiot: Refering to as dumb as donkey shit.
Up and down like a lift drivers arse.|
Smile on your face like a carpet snake in a chook pen.|
As popular as a turd in a lunch box.|
A face that only a mother could love.|
About as attractive as a box of frogs!|
I've seen better legs on the daily double!|
As useful as a handbrake on a Holden.|
What and your shit dont stink?|
Said to someone who think they are perfect.
Just let me wet me whistle.|
I need a drink
Any slower and he'd be going backwards.|
see 'slow coach'
Barkin up the wrong tree.|
got it wrong (made a mistake)
Very drunk, incapable of standing.
Every man and his dog was there.|
Something that's well attended
What a crock of shit!|
Bloody oath mate!|
you are indeed correct
He is jumped up.|
I'll give yer a bell.|
I will phone you
She'd be right mate!|
She'd be apples, alright.
It couldn't be done in a month of Sundays.|
It's going to take a long time.
Come on slow coach!|
lagging behind, slow, lazy.
Bad luck! (sarcastic or sympathic)
She's had shit thrown at her through a fly-wire door.|
refers to a sheilah's freckles (not her freckle!!)
Come over and see my Malvern Star.|
If it was raining palaces, I'd get hit by a dunny door.|
Straight as a nun's cunt.|
means DEFINITELY not gay
Snappy-hot, extra-grouse, good, fucking bonzer!|
pretty damn good!
That'd knock a cat off a gut wagon.|
Strewth! Cop a gekko at that!|
Good Lord, would you look at that.
He couldn't organise his way out of a wet paper bag.|
Screw the pooch.|
Stuff up. (Pooch = dog)
It's a wigwam for a Goose's bridle.|
Mind your own business ( in response to "What is ...?")
Sticks out like a country shithouse.|
If it was raining maidens, I'd be washed down the gutter with a poofter.|
said by a unlucky bloke in trying to pick up females
In and out like a fiddlers elbow.|
really busy or a driver darting in and out of traffic
He made a real dog's breakfast of it.|
Didn't perform the task very well; made a mess of it.
Fits like a prick in a shirt sleeve.|
a very loose fit
Dont fret your freckle.|
I don't know who's fucking skinning this cat, but I'm getting scratched.|
why don't you keep your mind on the bloody job !!
Up to ya nuts in guts.|
Uglier than homemade sin!|
Welcome as a turd in a swimming pool.|
It would kill a brown dog!|
Nothing can kill a brown dog, but this tasted so bad that it could,
Gone to Yackandandah.|
Gone to take a gander (take a look!)
To park a tiger on the rug.|
to throw up (vomit)
Don't plait your poop!|
Don't worry, stress
Don't get your tits in a tangle.|
see:Don't get your knickers in a knot.
She's got the tom-tits with me.|
got the shits, irritated
Pigs in the sky.|
Police in planes checking speeding motorists.
He's a teapot.|
A gay man
A David Gower.|
He couldn't drive a knife through soft butter.|
A bad driver.
So thin she wouldn't cast a shadow.|
Wetter than a sock in a puddle.|
a lot of rain
After all the rain it's still only half way up the ducks.|
Didn't get us anywhere; Don't worry. Water is always half up on ducks.
A shingle short on the roof of life.|
a bit slow
I'm 'aving a dogs eye and dead 'orse.|
Meat pie and sauce
What do you think it is, Bushweek?|
I'm not a dumb cocky from the bush you can't put it over me
That's about as funny as a kick in the head.|
About as useful/handy as pockets on a singlet.|
Couldn't lie straight in bed.|
people know your lying
Know yer! I'd know your skin if I saw it hanging on a bush.|
A few crumbs short of a biscuit.|
I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat.|
I need a drink
Yer so thin you'd have to run around in a the shower to get wet.|
Seven sandwiches short of a picnic.|
I feel like a dog's breakfast.|
Feel pretty awful.
Trouble and strife and billy lids.|
wife and kids
|96||You've got some face fungus.|
needs a shave
|81||You've got tickets on yourself mate!|
Someone who thinks a lot of themselves
|91||Fair suck of the sav!|
sav=saveloy=Frankerfurt. Fair go! Give me a break!
|67||Lower than a snake's belly.|
|84||Well that's down the gurgler.|
He spat the dummy.|
mega pissed off
|75||Off to the bog to leave an offering.|
A sewer deposit.
|111||Fair crack of the whip!|
I appeal for ethical behaviour
|69||Welcome as a pork chop in Jerusalem or a synagogue.|
|70||I wouldn't touch it with a forty foot pole.|
Pass the dead horse.|